S1:E1

(One of Seven completed Scripts)

“HOUR DRAMEDY PILOT”

From an unsuspecting teen, Vinny learns a lesson about life,
a lesson about death and leaves his aging mother in a lurch.

 

Giovanni Ginnetti
2008 Hartlebury Way
Sun City Center, FL  33573

813.317.6700
giovanni@thelastsupper.tv

 

Garry Hicks

13086 Indian Rocks Road,
Largo, FL 33774
707.508.9949
garry@thelastsupper.tv

 

 ©2020,Giovanni Ginnetti

INT. VINNY’S BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Vinny lies in bed, his body jerks, his eyelids twitter as beads of sweat coalesce on his forehead.
Vinny is late sixties but appears younger. He is a large man, just over six feet tall.
BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE- Vinny AND THE HAT (The dream sequence is a recurring nightmare that Vinny has. Each insertion presented is roughly twenty to thirty seconds in length. Each insertion overlaps the previous insertion by about five seconds. The total dream sequence is roughly six minutes and takes one season to see it all).
EXT. BroOklyn BUSY COMMERCIAL STREET – DAY
A car stops abruptly, out jump TWO WISEGUYS that FIRE a volley of shots that drop the TWO BODYGUARDS of notorious Brooklyn mob boss, Vinny Fiorello LaGuardia. Vinny hears the silenced shots, turns to look as people scream and scatter.
Vinny eyes THE HAT as he climbs out of the front seat of the car. The Hat wears gloves, a suit covered by a trenchcoat, sunglasses and obviously, a Fedora hat. The Hat is in his mid-twenties. He chases Vinny, who runs with his cigar into an alley. Vinny yells out…
VINNY
A trenchcoat is never a good sign!
EXT. Brooklyn ALLEY – CONTINUOUS
Cars and delivery trucks fill the alley as Vinny runs hard past them. He glances over his shoulder at The Hat, not far behind. He stops behind a truck, BREATHES hard.
He peeks around the edge of the truck, The Hat ambles toward him, confident, his pistol guides his way. Vinny panics, he slithers down the alley, approaches another delivery truck blocking the street, glances past the truck to a dead end.
He creeps behind a garbage dumpster, squats and cowers, trapped. He hears the echo of The Hat’s FOOTSTEPS, each step LOUDER and closer. Vinny cradles his head.
The Hat steps in front of Vinny, pistol pointed at his head.
2.
Vinny stares at The Hat, recognizes him, smiles. The Hat cocks the trigger, Vinny cringes. A moment of silence as Vinny glances up at The Hat.
Vinny pauses, blinks his eyes, stares at the man. The Hat aims his pistol at Vinny’s forehead.
Scene goes dark, SFX: BANG!
BACK TO SCENE
INT. VINNY’S beach HOUSE – bedroom – continuous
Vinny jolts up, eyes pop open as he scans the bedroom, then calms down as he realizes he just had a bad dream.
He pushes aside the expensive satin sheets and pillows, slides to the edge of the bed, drops his face into his hands.
EXT. VINNY’S BEACH HOUSE – Beach – DAY
It’s pre-dawn, barely light out but no sun yet.
Vinny strolls down a worn path to the beach, he wears a sweat suit and sandals. He pauses, stares at the waves breaking, sucks in a deep breath, continues down the path.
He passes a dune, spots the edge of a blanket. He trudges around the dune to see a figure under a blanket.
VINNY
I thought I left this all behind. What the hell is this country coming to?
THE KID, a skinny 14 year old black male teenager, peeks out from under the blanket, yawns. A small gym type bag sits next to him.
KID
If you only knew mister.
The Kid tosses the blanket aside, sits up. Vinny surveys the area, spots an abandoned short beach chair, ambles over, squeezes himself into it.
KID
You’re up awful early.
VINNY
Whadda ya doin’ sleeping on the beach?
3.
KID
I didn’t feel like goin’ home last night.
VINNY
So you do have a home. Won’t your parents worry?
KID
Nah, I have foster parents and live with five other kids. As long as they collect their check, they’re happy. Why you up so early?
VINNY
I like to watch the sun rise kid. It reminds me every day is a new beginning.
KID
You’re not from around here. Where you from mister?
VINNY
Up north. What’s it to ya?
KID
Figures. I bet you five bucks you won’t see the sun rise over the water today.
VINNY
Oh yeah? You ain’t even got five bucks.
KID
You don’t think so? Then let’s make it ten.
VINNY
I’ve watched the sun rise over the water since I was a kid. It’s a sure bet.
(pauses)
Besides, I don’t want your money.
KID
That means you don’t have twenty bucks. I’d say you probably don’t pay up on your bets anyhow.
4.
VINNY
Where I come from if you don’t pay up on your bets, you won’t see the sun rise.
KID
So throw down a cool fifty. I say you’re not gonna see the sun rise over the water today.
VINNY
Get lost kid. You’re too young to be gambling anyway.
KID
You’re saying that because you’re a chicken shit and afraid to lose a ’C’ note to a kid. You’ll be humiliated, you’ll…
VINNY
Enough, enough… This is going to be an expensive lesson for your young mind of mush.
Vinny pulls a hundred out from his pocket, dangles it toward the kid.
VINNY
In a matter of minutes, you’ll be sorry you gave me this merda once the sun peeks out over the horizon. Does your mouth wanna match this?
KID
Yeah, I got it covered.
VINNY
Where? Lemme see it, show me the money.
KID
(sarcastic)
It’s in the bag.
Vinny stares at the bag as it gets brighter behind the two of them.
VINNY
You’re telling me you’ve got a hundred bucks in that bag to lose on a bet?
5.
KID
Hey mister, I’m not the one taking the risk here.
VINNY
What’s that supposed to mean?
KID
Can you see me better now?
VINNY
Yeah…so what’s your point?
KID
You know why you can see me better?
VINNY
What is that, a trick question?
KID
No, not a trick question. Why can you see me better?
VINNY
Whadda ya mean, why can I see you?
KID
Just answer the question.
VINNY
(sighs)
Because it’s getting brighter.
KID
And where is the sun?
Vinny looks around, glances over his shoulder to see the top of the sun behind him. The kid, slow, pulls the bill from Vinny’s grip.
VINNY
(sighs)
Okay you little shit, you got me.
You’re lucky I was sleepy.
The Kid stares past Vinny to see a man in a suit amble toward them. Nervous, he grabs his things.
KID
I don’t know about where you come from but here on the west coast of Florida, the sun still rises in the east.
6.
VINNY
Smartass!
KID
I’ll see ya around mister…and thanks for not welching.
The Kid rushes off as Vinny hollers over his shoulder.
VINNY
Don’t spend it all in one place and if you tell anyone you got it from me, I’ll deny it. Keep your nose clean, don’t buy anything you can smoke, and one other thing…
The man, ROCCO, fifties, dressed in a suit but still looks like a wiseguy, approaches behind Vinny.
VINNY
Don’t gamble.
Rocco slithers to behind Vinny.
ROCCO
Looks like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.
Rocco shuffles to the front of Vinny, reaches into his inside coat pocket. Vinny holds his hands out.
VINNY
No, Rocco, don’t do it!
Vinny, stuck in his chair, reels back. Rocco smiles.
VINNY
You’re not gonna shoot me?
ROCCO
Relax boss, slow your roll.
(pauses)
It’s not what you think.
Rocco pulls out a handkerchief, wipes his sweaty forehead. Vinny relaxes.
VINNY
Of all the places in the world, you find me here. How the hell did you do it?
Vinny holds out his hand, Rocco pulls him to his feet. Vinny shakes the sand off, straightens up.
7.
ROCCO
I went to see your mother.
VINNY
Why my mother?
ROCCO
Because I like your mother and she likes me. We had a nice visit.
VINNY
How’s she doin?
RoCCO
Other than being worried about you, she’s good. She confided in me that you had contacted her last week, so I knew you were okay. Wasn’t hard to find you.
VINNY
What if some of the other goons talk to her?
ROCCO
She won’t be talking to anyone.
VINNY
(panicked)
What the hell does that mean Rocco, what did you do to her?
Rocco lets Vinny squirm a but, then grins.
ROCCO
I’ve always covered your back just like you’ve always covered mine. Let’s go inside Vin.
VINNY
Inside? You think I just fell off the turnip truck?
ROCCO
Relax, if I was going to cap you it would already be done. Besides, you know I never carry.
Ext. VINNY’S BEACH House - CONTINUOUS
At the front door, Vinny, nervous, peeks his head inside the door, scans the area.
8.
ROCCO
I told you, no one’s here.
VINNY
Yeah, we always say that before we whack someone.
ROCCO
I’ll go first.
VINNY
Yeah, go ahead…you go in first.
Rocco starts to walk in, Vinny grabs him, holds him back and leads inside himself.
INT. VINNY’S BEACH HOUSE – continuous
They creep toward the kitchen. Vinny, still nervous, passes a closet, stops, stares at it for a brief moment. Then, quick, he jerks open the door.
Rocco smiles at him and continues into the kitchen.
Int. kitchen – continuous
Rocco finds the coffee maker and begins to make coffee. Vinny, still nervous, glances around then peeks out the window.
ROCCO
Nice place Vin, you buy it?
VINNY
Nah, just rented it for three months, furnished. It’s peaceful here, almost therapeutic.
(5 beats)
Okay Rocco, give it to me straight.
ROCCO
(pauses)
The bosses back home suspect you were pinched by the Russians but the Russians deny any involvement …and they fucked up.
VINNY
Yeah, how’s that?
9.
ROCCO
They didn’t respond to the family for five days. 
(pauses)
The family finds that very suspicious. 
(stares)
Why’d they hold off for five days Vin?
VINNY
Whadda ya starin’ at me for?
ROCCO
Once the family realized you were missing, we broke into your place. I found the Russian cigarette butt…you and I both know you planted that.
VINNY
Whadda ya talking about?
ROCCO
Vinny, it’s me. It’s me you’re talking to. Man, your place looked like a crime scene…crap tossed everywhere. As of now the family is buying it, only because the Russians took so long to respond.
(beat)
Please don’t bullshit me Vincent. I can tell it was your doing.
VINNY
Alright…whatever.
ROCCO
So now you’ve got the family as well as the Russians looking for you. The blood on the floor was a nice touch. Yours? 
Vinny picks up the telephone and dials out.
VINNY
Slaughter house on the east end. So what are you going to tell them?
ROCCO
I’m saying nothing…cause I’m not going back.
10.
VINNY
Not goin’ back? How you gettin’ away with that?
ROCCO
Pulling a case in Palermo representing extended family. Accidents happen there all the time, people disappear.
VINNY
Have you really thought this through?
ROCCO
Probably more than you have. How did you happen to pick Clearwater…because of your daughter?
(should be ‘pick the beach?)
VINNY
Ma. You up?
(beat)
You alone?
MA (V.O.)
Pronto?
No, I’m lying here beside Tony Bennett. Of course, I’m up, what’s amatta you?
VINNY
Ma, anyone come visit you lately?
MA (V.O.)
Visit me? No, just Rocco, he’s such a nice man. You still trust him… right?
VINNY
Who else Ma?
MA (V.O.)
No one. A few of the girls, that’s all. People here think you’re gone. Someplace in Russia.
VINNY
Yeah, that’s it Ma, I’m in Russia. Remember, say nothing to nobody, no matter who it is, not even Rocco, no one Ma. Play the role…you’ve not heard a word from me, act worried Ma. Understand?
11.
MA (V.O.)
Si, si. How many times you gonna tell me this? I’m good here. The ladies in the neighborhood are looking after me, even cooking for me. Stella takes me to the seven every morning, we make a novena for you Vincent.
VINNY
Ma, don’t even say my name out loud.
Ma (V.O.)
Please, stop telling me what to do. I told you I’m good.
VINNY
Okay, you know the plan, when and where I’ll call you next, right Ma?
MA (V.O.)
Si, ciao.
SFX: Phone hangs up.
VINNY
My old lady just hung up on me.
Rocco
She’s working the system there. I saw her whole routine, watched her for several days last week. She’s got half the family wrapped around her finger. They’re cooking and cleaning, buying her groceries.
VINNY
That’s my Ma.
ROCCO
She’s acting distraught and making demands to take out the Russians. She’s at church twice a day. She’s playin’ them like the master she is.
VINNY
So why’d you leave Rocco, you had it made in the organization.
ROCCO
Why’d you leave boss?
12.
VINNY
That fucking prick Dominic. He thinks because his father is Capo he can muscle anyone. He’s always trying to bust my balls. He makes Kim Jong Un look like Mother Teresa. He’s a certified lunatic.
ROCCO
He wants your job.
VINNY
Yeah, well, he can have it. When he had Carmine order me to personally make a hit on a friend, getting out became an easy decision.
Rocco pours two cups of coffee, both sit at the table.
ROCCO
You been down here what, five weeks? What’s your plan?
VINNY
I wasn’t gonna do nothing but you know what, I got bored. You’re not gonna believe what I did.
ROCCO
I’m not surprised at anything you do.
VINNY
(grins)
I got a new joint.
ROCCO
A new place?
(pauses)
Have you thought this through? You know they’re gonna send someone after you sooner or later. It’s gonna be resolved that the Russians did not, in fact, abduct you.
VINNY
Then I’ll put a fork in the fucking eyes of whoever they send. You heard it before Rocco, better to live on your feet than die on your knees.
13.
ROCCO
I’m not buying it Vinny, someone will eventually find you. Your objective is to stay hidden.
(Pause)
Having a restaurant will give them a road map leading right to you.
VINNY
They’ll be huntin’ a different animal in a different forest. Even the F.B.I don’t have shit.
ROCCO
Yeah but they’re the same animals, here or there.
VINNY
And I was one of them. The last hit, it bothered me. You remember?
BEGIN FLASHBACK
SUPER: 2010
EXT. DIRT ROAD – NIGHT
Vinny and another WISEGUY are shadows in the night as they stand next to a car. The wiseguy’s pistol is pointed at a kneeling MAN in the car headlight’s.
The man pleads as the wiseguy looks to Vinny, who nods his head. BANG, the wiseguy shoots.
END FLASHBACK
VINNY
I have fucking nightmares about that one. Seems like ever since I left Brooklyn, I have crazy nightmares all the time.
ROCCO
That’s not surprising.
(pauses)
You got a computer in here? Internet?
VINNY
Why the hell should I know about computers? They’re for the kids. You know I never used one.
14.
ROCCO
Yeah, I know, old school, telephone booths. Listen boss, it’s a new century and era. You need to get a computer and learn how to use it.
VINNY
How the hell am I going to learn that?
ROCCO
Not the same thing Rocco.
ROCCO
Yeah it is. After you got that tip you studied the books. The…bam! It hit you…and him.
EXT. clearwater Beach – sidewalk – day
Rocco and Vinny meander down the sidewalk past all types of businesses. Rocco still wears his suit. Vinny, casual dress in shirt, shorts and loafers.
VINNY
You need to get some shorts or you’ll melt down here.
ROCCO
Never worn shorts, never will.
VINNY
Fuckin’ New York stubbornness. So roast.
As they meander, they see The Kid down a ways. He has a cooler, holds out a bottle of water. They stop and watch. Vinny smiles, shakes his head in recognition and approval.
KID
Get your ice cold water here, two bucks, just two bucks to feel like you’re swimming under a waterfall.
ROCCO
You know this kid?
VINNY
Yeah, he taught me to never be too sure of what you think you know.
They saunter over.
15.
VINNY
I see you made good use of the bet you won.
KID
I’ll double or triple that out here.
ROCCO
Don’t you need some kind of a permit to do this?
KID
(to Vinny)
Who’s this? A water cop?
VINNY
Ah, he’s okay kid.
KID
(to Rocco)
Permit-schmermit.
Vinny glances at Rocco, smiles, smacks him in the shoulder. They take a step backward.
VINNY
Who’s that remind you of?
A COUPLE ambles by, the Kid holds out a bottle.
KID
Water mister, ice cold water, pure, tasty smooth water.
MAN BUYS WATER
I’ll take two.
The Kid opens the cooler and grabs two bottles, hands them to the man.
KID
Four bucks.
The man hands him a five, The Kid holds out a dollar.
MAN BUYS WATER
Keep it.
KID
Thank you sir!
The couple amble away. Other PEDESTRIANS walk by.
16.
ROCCO
Hey kid, you any good on a computer?
KID
Could Babe Ruth hit a baseball?
VINNY
Are you suggesting this kid can teach me another lesson?
ROCCO
In this day and age kids know more about computers than we knew about the Bronx Bombers.
VINNY
(shrugs)
What about it kid, you want to teach me how to use a computer?
KID
Long as the money’s right.
VINNY
Come see me at The Palazzo, you know where it is?
KID
Yeah, I know. You gentlemen need to move along, you’re costing me money.
ROCCO
So kid, what’s your name?
KID
Uhh … Kid’s good for now. I’ll see you later man.
Rocco and Vinny smile at each other, continue to walk down the street.
KID (O.C.)
Get your icy cold water here.
VINNY
I like that kid. Little shit beat me for a C note.
(beat)
Hey Rocco, meet me in the morning…you gotta see the sunrise here.
17.
ROCCO
Here? Vin, the sun rises in the east.
(beat)
Ahhh, I get it … that’s how you lost the hundred bucks, huh?
VINNY
Forgetaboutit.
EXT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB SIDEWALK - day
Vinny and Rocco stand outside as Rocco scans the area.
VINNY
Whadda ya’ think Rocco?
ROCCO
Meh, not the best area but plenty of traffic.
VINNY
Don’t matter where it is if they like the food.
INT. Palazzo nightclub - ENTRY AREA – CONTINUOUS
Vinny and Rocco stand in the entry and watch as HARRY, (late 20’s – early 30’s) the fix it all maintenance man, hangs a mirror on the wall.
Harry has those forced preppy, yuppy looks, but can’t seem to perfect the look, something is always missing.
VINNY
How’s it going Harry?
HARRY
Great Vinny, shouldn’t be too much longer and I’ll have it all knocked out.
VINNY
Harry’s my go to fix it guy, the problem solver.
ROCCO
Nice. What did this set you back?
Rocco rubs his thumb and finger together. They walk further in, leave Harry behind.
18.
VINNY
One thing about money Rocco, it’s a renewable resource.
ROCCO
So how did you find this place?
VINNY
Patty. Wait till you meet her, your eyes will pop outta your head.
ROCCO
So you have action going on down here?
VINNY
No,ohhh no! I’m legit. Left the family and out of the wiseguy business altogether.
ROCCO
(smiles)
Yeah, kinda like a lion trying to become a vegetarian.
VINNY
Funny guy.
(excited)
Lemme show you my kitchen.
Int. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB KITCHEN – continuous
Vinny and Rocco stand as Rocco inspects everything. Vinny glances at him, waits for a response.
VINNY
Well?
ROCCO
Nice…nice. Just like the old place.
VINNY
It’s a beautiful thing. Have a seat over there, I’ll get us some food.
Rocco sits at a small table. Vinny pulls a prepared antipasto plate from the refrigerator, sets it on a counter.
He grabs a loaf of bread, slices and drops it in a basket.
19.
He sets the food dish, bread, 2 large plates, 2 salad sized plates, on the table. He smiles at Rocco, prances out of the room.
He returns with 2 wine glasses and an open wine bottle, sets them down, goes to the fridge, grabs a small jar, then grabs a bottle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
ROCCO
You trying to get me into bed?
VINNY
You know you’re not my type.
Vinny smiles, sits, pours the oil and vinegar onto the plates, scoops cooked garlic into it, squashes it with a fork then grinds pepper into it.
Vinny pours the wine, holds out his glass, Rocco his.
VINNY
To a new beginning.
ROCCO
Salute!
They clink glasses, Vinny grabs bread, dips it into the oil, sucks the oil then takes a bite.
VINNY
Just like the old country.
Rocco smiles, dips his bread.
ROCCO
Let’s get back to the computer.
Two men, JOEY and STEVIE, thirties, walk into the room from the back door. They approach the table.
Joey is scary looking, short but wears authority like a custom made suit.
Stevie is the opposite, easy going, good looking guy.
VINNY
Sorry fella’s, I ain’t buying nothin’ today.
JOEY
I’m Joey, this is Stevie. Congratulations on your new place.
20.
VINNY
Whadda ya want?
JOEY
Right to the point, I like that so let me get right to the point. This is a tough area, vandals, homeless, break ins, lots of problems. We provide protection. In return for that, you pay us fifteen percent off the top. We guarantee you’ll have no problems. We’ll…
VINNY
Rocco, get a load of this! You’re shakin’ me down? Is that what this is? You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.
JOEY
I’m not kiddin’ you, I’m dead serious. This is our area. We take care of any…potential problems.
VINNY
I don’t have any problems except for you. Now get the fuck outta here, go back and crawl under whatever rock you crawled out from.
Joey glances at Stevie, back to Vinny.
JOEY
We seem to have a mis-understanding. Perhaps I’m not making myself clear.
Joey bolts over as he pulls a gun from his coat. Before a shocked Vinny can move, Joey has the gun kissing Vinny’s temple.
JOEY
Here’s the deal Guido. You want to operate in my area, it costs you fifteen percent a week. You don’t wanna pay me, close your fucking doors now…or I’ll close em’.
A tense moment passes, Vinny LAUGHS. Rocco, unaffected, continues to eat.
JOEY
You think this is fuckin’ funny?
21.
VINNY
Calm down kid, put the piece away, relax. Who do you work for?
JOEY
I told you, ourselves.
VINNY
Look, I know how this works. Who’s your skipper?
Stevie glances at Joey, shrugs his shoulders.
ROCCO
You babbo’s are trying to shake down a made man.
Joey moves gun away from Vinny’s temple, glances at Stevie.
JOEY
I thought you checked this out.
STEVIE
I did but nothing came up.
VINNY
I’ll ask you one last time…who do you jebrones work for?
JOEY
Tony Shoes.
VINNY
(to Rocco)
Tony Shoes?
ROCCO
(to Vinny)
Antonio Sclafani.
JOEY
Yeah, you know him?
Rocco, still unaffected, eats.
rOCCO
You boys should have done your homework.
Vinny stands, turns ugly.
22.
VINNY
I’m Vincent Fiorello Laguardia from New York. I take punks like you and put them in the fucking ground.
JOEY
Oh shit, you’re Vinny?
Joey and Stevie squirm. Joey stares down Stevie.
JOEY
I don’t know what to say. I’d never done this if I’d know who you were.
Vinny shrugs his shoulders, throws his hands up.
VINNY
Mistakes happen. We’ll just pretend you never put a gun to my head and threatened me. So forget about it.
Vinny sits.
JOEY
You’re not going to go to Tony?
ROCCO
He said forget it…drop it. Get the fuck outta here and never come back.
VINNY
Set up a meeting, tell Tony I want to sit with him.
He grabs a knife, holds it up, stares at it, cuts bread.
VINNY
You gotta be the shortest wiseguy I’ve ever seen. Where’d you hook up with Sclafani?
JOEY
Tampa Bay Downs. We worked dozens of tracks up and down the eastern seaboard. Specialized in ringers, horse breeding, fixed races, you name it.
RoCCO
Fix? Looks like you actually rode the ponies.
23.
JOEY
(agressive, to Rocco)
Don’t underestimate me…my finger can pull a trigger faster than anyone.
Vinny stands and gets in Joey’s face.
VINNY
Enough of this horse shit! Now get your scrawny asses outta here.
They hustle out. Vinny sits. They continue to eat.
VINNY
You believe this shit!
ROCCO
(chuckles)
It was all I could do to not bust out laughing when you told them who you were.
VINNY
It was all I could do to not take his piece, shove it up his ass and pull the trigger.
ROCCO
And you thought there was no family down here.
VINNY
I knew Sclafani was down here but I thought I’d get a little respect.
ROCCO
Let’s just hope Tony comes to you, not New York.
VINNY
I’ll work it out with him. So, where were we. Oh, computer, you really think I need a computer?
ROCCO
Once we get you up to speed, you’re gonna wonder how you ever lived without it.
VINNY
C’mon Rocco, we lived without cell phones and computers for years.
24.
ROCCO
We didn’t. You did. We could have lived without Sinatra, but how much better is life with his music?
VINNY
I guess you got me there. As usual you have all the answers.
(pauses)
That settles it, you run this place.
ROCCO
Whoa, whoa whoa, stop the clock. I’m not here to run this place.
VINNY
Who better to run this place? You’ve always had my back and my loyalty sits with you. Something else comes up later for you, do it. Just help me get this place rolling. Give me a couple months.
Vinny holds out his hand. Rocco pauses, stares at his hand, slow, he shakes it.
ROCCO
We’ll see how it goes…boss.
(pause)
You never did tell me, have you been you been in contact with your daughter?
VINNY
Lilly? Nah…I keep meaning to, I, uhh, well…I really don’t know how to make the first move.
ROCCO
You’re her father, just pick up the phone and call her.
VINNY
It ain’t that easy Rocco, that putana mother of hers lied to me, never told me I had a daughter. And now, because the bitch is on her deathbed, she has a come to Jesus meeting with Fiorella and tells her about me...the whore even named her after me.
25.
ROCCO
So what’s the problem?
VINNY
So many years have passed Rocco. Hell, I don’t even know if she’d want to meet me.
ROCCO
I thought that’s why you chose Clearwater.
VINNY
What the hell does Clearwater got to do with…
Vinny stops.
VINNY
Rocco, what the fuck are you saying? You sneaky bastard, you know something.
ROCCO
C’mon Vin, I do my due diligence. Fiorella is a success, she’s an OBGYN here in Clearwater.
VINNY
Are you shittin’ me, a doctor, my daughter’s a doctor?
ROCCO
I figured you knew that.
VINNY
Now I gotta meet her.
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB OFFICE – DAY
Vinny, amazed and excited, sits at a computer, surfs the internet. The Kid stands next to him.
VINNY
How big is this thing?
KID
It’s ginormous, like, uhh, you could put all the libraries in the world in one location and they still wouldn’t be as big as the internet.
26.
VINNY
I feel like a cave man discovering fire.
(pauses)
They got about as much chance of finding me in here as they do of finding Johnny Cappelli in Pelham Bay Park.
KID
You think so? Type in your name.
Vinny types in his name hits enter.
ECU:INSERT MONITOR
Vinny clicks on his name. A mug shot picture along with a brief history pops up.
VINNY (V.O.)
Schmucks had to let me go in twenty four hours on that one.
(reads)
I didn’t know I was that famous.
(reads)
Look down here.
Vinny highlights the last sentence. The kid is dumbstruck, his mouth hangs open.
VINNY (V.O.)
See kid, I’m missing and presumed dead.
Med-wide shot again…
Back to Vinny and The Kid.
VINNY
I’d of died sooner if I knew this was gonna happen.
(pauses)
Get it kid? Vincent LaGuardia no longer exists, I’m Vinny Portofino now.
The kid backs up a few steps, Vinny turns to him. The kid stares at the floor.
VINNY
What’s wrong?
27.
The kid still stares.
VINNY
Hey kid, look at me.
(pauses)
Unless you’re Stevie fucking Wonder, look at me.
The kid raises his head, stares at Vinny.
KID
I, I didn’t know who you were.
VINNY
What, so now you’re scared?
KID
What if I make a wrong move, I just disappear?
VINNY
That’s right, you heard of cement shoes?
KID
(scared)
I just remembered I got something to do…by the way, today’s lesson in on the house.
Vinny CHUCKLES.
VINNY
Relax kid, don’t be so constipated, I’m just bustin’ your chops. Listen, I’m down here because I left that life behind me. I’m a respectable businessman now and I’m going to stay that way. So relax.
KID
Are they lookin’ for you?
VINNY
Hell, I don’t know. But I tell you this, I know the upside of downside and I intend to make it here.
Vinny pauses, stares at the kid.
VINNY
What’s your definition of loyalty kid?
28.
KID
Not bringing hurt to someone who just taught you to use the computer.
VINNY
Loyalty is sacred for me. I value loyalty. When someone gives it to me, I give it back.
(pauses)
Capisci cosa sto dicendo bambino?
KID
Huh?
VINNY
You understand what I’m sayin’ kid?
KID
I completely understand.
(pauses)
And I completely agree with you.
Vinny points back and forth to the kid, then himself.
VINNY
So the two of us, we have an understanding?
KID
We do. Do you want your hundred back?
VINNY
Forget about it. There’s more where that came from.
KID
So how do I get a piece of that?
Kid begins to feel relaxed, friendly, let’s his guard down.
VINNY
Hang around here, I’ll have jobs for you. You’re from this area, think about how we can get all of these seats filled.
KID
I can hand out flyers.
29.
VINNY
Maybe an open mic comedy night, maybe a small band that plays oldies, something like that.
KID
Season will be here before you know it…we could have a snow bird night.
VINNY
What the hell is a snow bird? 
KID
Snow birds are people that live up north and come to Florida to, you know, get out of the cold. Millions of people come to Florida just for the winter.
VINNY
I get it, kinda like a welcome back.
KID
Maybe free drinks?
VINNY
Not a chance. Look, I wanna play around with this thing, get familiar with it. Are there any sites I should know about?
KID
Yeah, Youtube. You’ll love it. It practically replaces TV. Anything you want to find you’ll find on YouTube!
Vinny pulls out a hundred, hands it to the kid. Clock shows 7 pm.
VINNY
Come back after school tomorrow. Now get outta here.
The kid smiles, stares.
KID
Thank you…godfather.
VINNY
Keep that up and I’ll be mixin’ cement. Now beat it.
30.
The kid scurries out. Vinny turns to the computer, punches in youtube, then gangsters.
VINNY
No shit!
ECU:INSERT MONITOR: The Life of Lucky Luciano plays.
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB OFFICE – Next day
Vinny watches a bit, punches in ‘New York Mobsters’ then hits ‘History of the New York Mafia’.
VINNY (O.C.)
Un-freakin’ real.
BaCK TO SCENE
Vinny pours a fresh cup of coffee from a full pot, settles in to read the internet pages.
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB OFFICE – lATER
Vinny watches a bit, punches in “Clearwater Restaurants’ then hits ‘Emeril’s Florida: St Petersburg & Clearwater’ As he watches, he drinks coffee.
PATTY (O.C.)
You could be on that list.
Vinny jerks, startled. PATTY MASSMANN stands behind him, watches over his shoulder. Patty is a beautiful blonde, dressed in shorts and a low cut top.
VINNY
Whadda ya doin here so late?
PATTY
So late? I come every morning at this time to check things out. The front looks great, the boys did a nice job. You got the permits? We should open this weekend, I had this dream…
VINNY
Slow down there chatterbox. Morning? What do you mean morning?
Patty goes to coffee pot, sees that it is now empty.
31.
PATTY
It’s nine thirty in the morning Mr. Portofino. No coffee? UGHHH! Can you make some, please.
VINNY
Why so formal? I told you, call me Vinny.
(beat)
I’ve been on this thing all night? I guess I lost time watching this youtube stuff. Have you ever seen this stuff Patty? It’s so freakin’ amazing.
PATTY
Youtube is like crack, everybody knows that. Is the kitchen even ready, we should invite our friends in, maybe serve crab cakes, ohh and flowers…I need to get my wedding planner people in here and…
VINNY
Damn Patty, slow down.
She leans on Vinny’s shoulder, points to computer.
PATTY
I’m just excited to get started. I see you’re checking out the locals.
VINNY
Yeah, trying to get an idea of who’s doing what around here. Then we’ve got to come up with some kind of promotion to get the seats filled.
She plops into a nearby chair, sets a leather case notebook pad on her lap, drops her purse next to her.
PATTY
I say we have a dinner party for my friends and some wedding planners. They can all experience the Palazzo and sell it to their brides.
(pauses)
You’re looking sexy today. Got a hot date lined up? Or did you just dress this way for me?
32.
VINNY
C’mon, I’ve been dressed this way since yesterday.
PATTY
Yesterday? That means you’ve been here all night?
VINNY
You’re brilliant Patty.
(pauses)
Were you able to put together that wine list?
PATTY
Got it right here.
She hands Vinny a small stack of papers. He inspects the notes as Rocco steps in.
VINNY
Hey, good morning Rocco, this is Patty, the former manager here. Patty, this is my most trusted friend, New York attorney, Mr. Rocco Brunello. He’s our new general manager.
ROCCO
Just till we get the place up and running. Pleasure to meet you, Patty.
They shake hands.
PATTY
Me too.
ROCCO
(to Vinny)
What happened to you, you look like shit.
PATTY
Hey, Rocco, we’re having our first meeting. I’m so excited.
ROCCO
(sits)
So what’s the subject?
PATTY
Wines of the world.
33.
VINNY
Shit Patty, this list is huge. I gotta hit the head. Rocco, take a look at this list.
Vinny bops up, hands over the list, hurries out. Rocco inspects it.
ROCCO
What’s with all this South American wine?
PATTY
Mr. Portofino wants Italian and Portuguese wine.
ROCCO
While they speak Portuguese in Brazil, neither Italy nor Portugal is in South America.
PATTY
Well, history was not one of my better subjects.
ROCCO
You mean geography?
PATTY
Whattever! You know Mr. Brunello, I may not be as sharp as a crayon but I’m a good person and people like me.
ROCCO
I didn’t mean…
PATTY
Yeah I know, you didn’t mean to treat me as a dumb blonde. Well, don’t worry about it because I’m not, I’m a brunette.
ROCCO
You’re a beauty Patty, a real beauty.
PATTY
At least you recognize my iniquity.
ROCCO
Do you mean your uniqueness?
34.
PATTY
Whatever! English wasn’t…
ROCCO
One of your better subjects?
(pauses)
What did you excel at?
PATTY
I was a damn good cheerleader.
Patty jumps up, stands straight, pauses, clamps her hands above her head, does a routine.
Vinny re-enters, watches, amused. The Kid stands behind him, smiles as Patty does her moves.
PATTY
Gimme a P, follow with an A, an L and an azzo, what’s that spell, PALAZZO, PALAZZO, eat there now!
ROCCO
Let’s just keep that between us.
KID
I like it Patty.
PATTY
At least someone appreciates me.
Vinny ambles over, kisses her on the cheek.
ROCCO
(to KID)
Good morning young man…What did you say your name was?
KID
I didn’t.
(beat-raises finger)
 
VINNY
Everyone have a seat. I asked the kid where to get fresh vegetables and fish. Kid, go ahead.
PATTY
What’s wrong with the suppliers I gave you?
VINNY
I want it to be known we use local people as suppliers, customers like that. Go ahead Kid.
35.
KID
I know a few people at the farmers market in St. Pete, it’s open every Saturday this time of year.
VINNY
And the fish?
KID
I know some guys down in Pass-a Grille and Clearwater Beach. I can get you a good deal.
ROCCO
And if none of that works?
KID
Several restaurants have their own boats. They always have extra fish.
ROCCO
How do you know all this?
KID
I used to work the docks.
VINNY
So it’s settled. Patty, you take the kid on Saturday to pick up vegetables and fish.
PATTY
C’mon Vinny, smelly fish…that’s yucky. Why do I have to do it?
VINNY
Because the old goats will give you anything you want…if you play them right.
PATTY
Oh, I get it. Price seduction by sex. I’m not having sex with a smelly fisherman.
ROCCO
You’re talking price reduction Patty, all you have to do is smile …maybe bend over when you look at the fish.
PATTY
Liiiike…nothing else?
36.
VINNY
It’s gonna be a hot Saturday morning so it’s t-shirts and shorts, just like your wearing now. You can hand out business cards.
Patty stands, adjusts her clothes, pulls her top low, signals to Vinny to stand, he stands. Seductively, she ambles to Vinny, snuggles against him, rubs his chest.
PATTY
Hi, you big bear of a man. Is that a cod fish in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Rocco is unwillingly aroused. The kid stares with his mouth open. Vinny is aroused and speechless. All three stare at her. She backs off.
PATTY
(smiles)
Like that?
Vinny clears his throat.
ROCCO
Okay, maybe she had a point when she said price seduction.
An awkward moment of silence.
KID
Vinny, I need to talk to you.
VINNY
Rocco, take Patty to the bar and the two of you finish up that wine list.
As the two of them leave, Rocco pauses.
ROCCO
By the way, you never did tell me, what’s your name?
KID
I’ll meet you at the bar, gimme a minute.
Kid walks to Vinny. Rocco and Patty exit.
37.
KID
You were talking about how to promote this place. I think I got an idea.
VINNY
Okay, let’s hear it.
KID
You’ve done a lot of cooking… you’re a good cook, right?
VINNY
C’mon Kid, I’m Italian.
KID
I was thinking you could do a cooking show, from here, put it on youtube.
VINNY
What’s the point of that?
KID
People see it, they’ll want to come here, eat, maybe even watch you film it. You could have a live audience.
VINNY
Nah, I couldn’t do that…a cooking show?
(pauses)
You think?
KID
We invite people to it, they tell their friends, they see it on youtube, they wanna come an eat.
VINNY
Maybe that’s not a bad idea.
KID
Exactly. You do recipes you did for your crew back home, something like “inside the Mafia cooking”.
VINNY
Don’t use that word, there is no Mafia.
(pauses)
We can call it Crime Boss Cooking show, how to eat like a wiseguy…
38.
KID
How about the Mob Boss kitchen?
Vinny ponders a bit, smiles.
VINNY
That’s good kid, really good, I like it. Let’s run it by Rocco.
Vinny stands, he and kid walk out to bar area.
int. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB bar area – DAY
KID
Hey Patty, Mr. Brunello, we’ve got a question for ya.
VINNY
Yeah, you run it by them Kid. I’ve gotta thing to do, I’ll be back shortly.
INT. VINNY’S BEACH HOUSE – NIGHT
Vinny enters house, heads for the sofa, removes shirt, (wears t-shirt) crashes on the sofa, His eyes droop, head leans back as his eyes close.
BEGIN DREAM – VINNY AND THE HAT
EXT. Brooklyn busy COMMERCIAL STREET – DAY
Vinny and the wiseguys exit building, take a few steps from the door. Vinny reaches into his pocket, pulls out a cigar, Turns to Sal who lights it. Vinny turns, continues to walk as the guys fall in behind.
A car pulls up fast to the curb. Vinny not aware of it, he walks about 6 paces ahead of the guys. People pass him on the street, all say hello to Mr. Laguardia, all show respect.
The car stops abruptly, out jump two wiseguys that shoot down Vito and Sal with silencers. Vinny hears the silenced shots, turns to look as people scream and scatter.
Vinny eyes THE HAT, now climbing out of the front seat of the car. He wears gloves, trench coat, sunglasses and obviously a hat. He begins to chase Vinny who runs with his cigar into an alley.
39.
EXT. ALLEY – CONTINUOUS
Cars and delivery trucks fill the alley as Vinny runs hard past them. He glances over his shoulder at The Hat chases him. Vinny stops behind a truck, he BREATHES hard.
He peeks around the truck, The Hat walks, a gun in his hand. Vinny panicks, he slithers down the alley. He comes to a delivery truck parked in the street, he glances past the truck to a dead end alley.
He hides behind a garbage dumpster, squats and cowers, nowhere to go. He hears The Hat’s FOOTSTEPS, each one gets LOUDER and closer. Vinny cradles his head.
The Hat steps in front of Vinny, gun pointed at his head.
Vinny stares at The Hat, recognizes him, smiles. The Hat is Vinny when he was twenty five years younger.
The Hat cocks the trigger, Vinny cringes. A moment of silence as Vinny glances at The Hat.
The Hat is now Vinny, he stares at himself. Vinny looks down at the cowering man, it’s now The Hat. The Hat trembles as he holds his hands out for Vinny to stop.
Vinny pauses, blinks his eyes, stares at the man. Vinny is again the cowering man, The Hat holds the gun on Vinny.
VINNY
You can’t shoot me.
THE HAT
The fuck I can’t, who says?
VINNY
You do…err, I do.
THE HAT
Huh? How’s that?
VINNY
‘Cuz you’re me. Or rather, I’m you.
This is the first time the audience clearly sees that the hat is Vinny.
THE HAT
Wanna bet?
VINNY
Now you know, we are not gamblers…
40.
The Hat looks back, Vinny now stands face to face. Vinny has the Hat’s gun pointing at the Hat. (hey it’s a dream)
THE HAT
You know, I never did like your stupid ass smart alec attitude.
VINNY
So, which is it, stupid ass or smart alec?
THE HAT
That’s my point. And I’m gonna take you out.
VINNY
With what? I’ve got your pistol.
THE HAT
You mother fucker, you won’t shoot me!
The Hat makes a run for it back through the Alley. This time trucks and cars are not there. Vinny shoots wildly in the direction of the running Hat until the gun CLICKS on empty.
BACK TO SCENE
Vinny, startled by KNOCKING, jerks awake. He rises, scratches his head, ambles toward the front door.
VINNY
(whispers)
Uggh – Fuckin’ nightmares just gotta stop!
INT. VINNY’S BEACH HOUSE kitchen - day
Vinny stands at a counter, slices garlic as Rocco watches from the other side.
VINNY
We put it on youtube, we fill the joint. So whadda ya think?
ROCCO
I think it’s a bad idea. Someone up north is going to see you, then you’ll have visitors to deal with. Not a good idea boss.
41.
VINNY
Remember Rocco, they’re old school. They don’t even look at computers.
ROCCO
Maybe not but their kids, nieces and nephews do. Someone will see you, then what?
VINNY
Then I fucking deal with it. I wanna do this Rocco, I think it can be big. Besides, it’ll make us a lot of cash…tax free cash.
ROCCO
You’re going to do what you want to anyway, but I’m against it.
VINNY
Good, then it’s settled. Lights, camera…annndddd action!
Vinny turns to an imaginary camera.
VINNY
I’d like to welcome you all to the Mob Boss Kitchen.
(bows)
Thank you, thank you very much. We have a special treat for you tonight.
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB DINING AREA – NIGHT
A makeshift kitchen STAGE is set up in front of the crowd, prepped for the show. All ingredients sit on the counter in bowls or containers. Pots and pans ready.
30 men and woman, mostly women, eagerly wait in the audience for Vinny’s entrance. A video camera sits on a tripod on each side.
Two WAITERS buzz about the room as they deliver drinks and appetizers. The crowd is a typical crowd, they talk, laugh, move their hands telling stories.
Int. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB KITCHEN - continuous  
Vinny, dressed in slacks and his mob boss kitchen shirt, stands in the kitchen. He talks with Rocco and Patty.
42.
ROCCO
What’s with you? You look nervous.
VINNY
Nahh. Well, yeah I guess I am. I feel like a pig in a cage at a pig roast.
ROCCO
You’ll do fine. Just be you.
VINNY
Yeah, I guess. What if they don’t laugh? What if they don’t like me?
PATTY
You’re the boss, chief cook, the foodmeister, the man with the answers, the Italian heritage, show them you’re not just another cook, show them…
VINNY
Enough already. Let’s do this. Rocco, please make sure the cameras are rolling, one on the whole stage, the other a close up of my prep area.
ROCCO
So, you’re really gonna do this? Okay, I’m on it. Good Luck…break a leg.
Rocco rushes out.
VINNY
Patty, I’m ready, go do your thing.
PATTY
Knock ‘em dead boss.
Patty rushes out to the stage kitchen. Vinny wrings his nervous hands.
Int. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB STAGE – continuous
Patty stands in front of the set, nervous. The crowd stops all talk, stares at Patty, who wrings her hands.
PATTY
Hi Gina, how are you. Glad you could make it Carol. Diane, Nikki.
(sighs)
43.
Hi everyone, my name is Patty, like you all didn’t know that, and I’d like to welcome you to our first taped cooking show.
(giggles)
We could all be stars. I’m excited to introduce my boss, a man with a special kind of cooking experience, a man that has cooked…
Rocco, off to the side, signals Patty to hurry.
PATTY
Okay, please welcome our boss and master chef…Vinny!
Vinny prances onto the set as the crowd APPLAUDS, Patty hurries away and stands next to Rocco.
VINNY
How you doin?
(pauses)
How you doin?
(applause)
Thank you, thank you so much. My name is Vinny and I welcome you to the Mob Boss Kitchen.
(pauses)
Why the Mob Boss kitchen? If I told you that then someone won’t get out of here alive. Just kidding. First, let’s take a look at some of the tools of the trade.
Vinny looks around like he can’t find something, inspects the knives in the butcher block, SIGHS.
VINNY
Well, it was here. Ohh, wait a second.
He reaches into his back pocket, pulls out a cleaver and slams it into the cutting board.
VINNY
I forgot about that. Today I have a special treat, I’ll be making a dish that we’ve made all of our lives but this one, ohh this one is special. Today we’ll make the most fantastic bologna sandwich ever. Exciting, right?
44.
Light to no applause from the crowd. Vinny looks confused, holds his hands out.
VINNY
What?
(laughs)
Okay then, forget about it. Seriously, I have a special treat, we’ll be cooking up a dish that my guys like about four in the morning, pasta-fazool. In Italian, it’s known as…
Vinny does a strong Italian accent.
VINNY
pasta e fagioli. And pollo Italiana.
Light applause from the crowd. Vinny dices up pancetta and turns on the burner.
VINNY
I’m loosely dicing up some pancetta. First thing we want to do is heat up the pot,
Vinny pulls a gun out from his back pocket, waves it at the crowd who GASP and stir. Vinny looks at the gun.
VINNY
What? Here in the mob boss kitchen we have a different way of doing things. See? I’m adding olive oil.
He squirts olive oil from the gun into the pan, continues to talk as he prepares. The audience MURMERS with approval
VINNY
just like that, then the pancetta. Let it brown a bit and add these aromatic herbs. Let the flavors blend. In the meantime, you can see I’ve flattened six chicken breasts, it increases its size and makes it even more, ahh, tender. But first, I’m going to blacken the chicken. Do not try this at home, I am a professional.
Vinny pulls out a small torch, lights it and torches the chicken. The crowd LAUGHS.
45.
VINNY
I use tools of the trade…cooking trade that is.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB STAGE – night
(LATER) Stage kitchen is messy, ingredients used up.
VINNY
That’s our show for tonight, I hope you enjoyed it and learned something. If you like it tell your friends, we’ll be taping another show two weeks from tonight. Ciao!
The crowd APPLAUDS, many stand in approval. Vinny throws kisses out, bows and shuffles to the kitchen where Rocco, the kid and Patty wait.
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS
VINNY
Hey kid, what happened, I didn’t think you were going to show.
KID
I got hung up.
VINNY
Well?
ROCCO
I gotta tell you, I’m impressed. You’re a natural up there.
PATTY
You were fantastic!
Patty kisses Vinny on the cheek, hugs him.
KID
Hey, what about me?
Patty smiles, kisses his cheek and hugs him. She smiles at Rocco, he doesn’t react.
VINNY
So what now?
46.
ROCCO
I put a video editing program on your computer, we’ll mix the two tapes into one, the kid will show me how to put them on youtube. Ready kid?
KID
Let’s do it.
SUPER: ONE WEEK LATER
INT. PALAZZO NIGHTCLUB OFFICE - DAY
Vinny works on his computer, he’s oblivious to anything else. The kid slithers into the room.
KID
Have you seen it?
Vinny jerks.
VINNY
Don’t do that again kid, you’re gonna get hurt. Seen what?
KID
Pull up your show on youtube.
Vinny punches the keyboard, then his show.
VINNY
Yeah, so what, I’ve seen it.
KID
You see that number right below the video?
Vinny points to the screen.
VINNY
This one?
KID
Yeah, what’s it say.
VINNY
Four thousand, eight hundred fifteen. So what.
47.
KID
That means four thousand, eight hundred fifteen people have watched your video.
VINNY
You gotta be shittin’ me.
KID
I’m not shittin’ you…you’re a star VINNY, a star.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. BroOklyn HOUSE – NIGHT
ALISON, 11, sits at a computer in her BEDROOM, watches, types, watches more.
MICHELLE, 13, sits on a bed and combs her hair.
Alison
Michelle, come here quick...like now!
Michelle
Whyyyy!
ALISON
I think this is your Uncle Vinny.
MICHELLE
What are you talking about?
Alison
He’s cooking on youtube.
Michelle bolts over to the computer. Suddenly, her eyes bulge, her hand covers her mouth.
mICHELLE
Are you freaking kidding me! OMG!
(screams)
Daddy, come here, come here quick!
Moments later, DOMINIC, late thirties, dressed in a white under shirt and slacks, walks into room.
DOMINIC
What’s amatta, what is it?
48.
mICHELLE
Come and look at this…it’s Uncle Vinny.
Dominic rushes over, stares at the screen.
DOMINIC
What the… where is that? When was that put on?
aLISON
Seven days ago and…somewhere in Florida.
Dominic rushes out of the room.
Int. BROOKLYN HOUSE kitchen – CONTINUOUS
He paces the kitchen floor as he walks with his cell phone.
DOMINIC
Our boy’s alive and well in Florida.
FADE OUT